I don’t know if you guys watch Real Housewives of Atlanta but I do. It is the one hour on Sundays I spend watching reality TV absorbing the nonsense girly drama. Over the past two seasons, housewive Kenya has been going on and on about the mistreatment she received from her mom and her desperate need for her mom’s acceptance and approval. Now don’t get me wrong. I totally understand the impact one’s childhood can have on upbringing and adulthood. Let’s be honest. Most of our parents gave us a few scars which have lasted longer than we would like to admit. My question, is how long should this be an excuse? Can you really use your Mommy’s actions as an cop out for your behaviors well into your adulthood?
Kenya is about forty something years old going on searches and doing pop ups at her mom’s house. If anything, her unreciprocated love for her mom is pretty much her reason for a lot of her current problems. She states the abandonment and constant rejection is still relevant to her behaviors and relationships today. I may be a little harsh. If so, feel free to tell me so. Yet, I can’t help but think at some point especially that late in your life, you just have to move on. Parents are just like us except with way more responsibilities and less time to grow up. They make mistakes. They aren’t perfect. That’s just what you learn as you grow up.
Kenya isn’t the only one. If you pay attention, you will see this in your everyday life. I can’t count the amount of times guys in my age group refuse to commit due to their mommy issues. Or friends who flake on one another because of how they grew up. My favorite is when people come to work with their own issues stemming from their childhood. No offense, but work should be the last place I have to deal with someone and their personal issues. I personally hate the excuse ” I don’t know any better”. Yes, at first you can claim you really didn’t know. But once you find out, the repetition is so inexcusable. Eventually, you just have to chuck it up to being dealt a bad hand and make the best of it. Life goes on. People are only hurting their own progress by holding on to the past. Trust me, mommy is not sitting there pushing people away from what she did years ago. If your childhood was that bad, seek professional help and deal with it. I’m just saying after a certain point, it’s either you fix it or move on.